I am dating this amazingly wonderful man who seems to think that I am amazingly wonderful. We are quite alike, and yet different. He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel sexy and beautiful. He is so incredibly non-manipulative that I am afraid I'm being manipulated and just can't tell. (is that last part normal?)
We get along very well, and I don't think we're on our best behavior. I've seen him sicker than sick, and he's seen me insecure and weepy. I've seen him angry and he's seen me angry (though not at each other). We've both been guilty of workaholism. I've met his family and he's met the ones of mine that live nearby.
He's hinted at living together. (I think - hints are difficult for me). The thought of getting married again is repellent; however I don't want to live with someone. Either you want me forever, or not at all. So, if I don't want to marry and I won't live with anyone, where do we go? Is it normal for me to want to live on my own first? (I'm still sharing living space with X-man. - wish this house would sell!) And besides - his decor and my decor are not alike. (one thing I'm not compromising is me - and that includes personal expression).
What are the non-negotiables in a good relationship? I thought I had it right the first time - same religion, same intellectual level, his weaknesses were my strengths, differing interests to ensure something to learn over the years, etc. What did it matter that we didn't have that "spark"? What did it matter that we couldn't agree on anything - we just took turns? So what if we agreed on a course of action and then each just did things the way we thought best?
How on earth, will I ever be able to trust myself to make a better choice this time?
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