The next day, Xman was actually awake when I got home. I spoke to him again about how sleeping all day isn't normal. But this time I used words like "unacceptable and completely miserable". Of course, by the end of the exchange voices were louder than normal.
Then my work life and mom life became insanely busy. Evidently the anger had some effect, because Xman made a doctor's appointment. 5 hospitalizations and 3 surgeries later, Rip Van Winkle emerges into a world and marriage he stopped functioning in 15 years ago.
By now, I've had 10 months of thinking time, and therapy. I'm calmer, and more sure of myself. I have set some additional non-negotiables and Xman violated one irreparably when I overheard him telling my son not ask me for something, but to do ... and... to make me feel guilty so I would give it to him.
That was the end. I would not allow my son to think that this lack of trust and respect was a normal relationship.
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