My life changed while I was at the grocery store. I was tired, really tired. My then-husband had been seriously ill or depressed (I wasn't sure which, since he never would go see a doctor) for years. I'm talking 18 hours of sleep daily. Not actually seeing him, because by now we'd been sleeping in seperate rooms for 10 years. Just seeing the mess he left me to clean and hearing the complaints over phone about what needed to be done. I was the essentially single parent to a pre-teen with a learning disability with a full-time job, and wife to an invalid husband.
I pulled into the parking lot and sat quietly for a second when a nearly uncontrollable urge to clear out my accounts and drive North hit me. It seemed so easy - just go. Shaky, I drove home sans groceries and alone as usual, began to wonder what in the world was wrong with me. I had been married 18 years. My husband didn't hit me, he worked, he wasn't cheating on me. What was prompting this insane desire to run away?
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